ceivable, and we have no Notion of the Discovery it makes. What before was dark, was frightful, is now pleasant and agreeable. Imperfect Views of the beft Things, give but mil-fhapen Notions; Light increasing satisfies as to them: Eye hath not feen, Ifai. 64. 4.

Truly Light is fweet, even before the Sun is feen, Light is great, and is pleasant, makes the Way pleasant, and gives pleasant Discoveries; but it cannot be without Sense fold or conceived, what fatisfactory Difcoveries, what quickning Warmth the Noon-day's Sun affords.

Solemn Self-examination.

Anuary 11, 1708, In the Morning I arose greatly indifpofed with a Loofness, but fomewhat reliev'd before I went to the Church; yet immediately after Sermons, feiz'd with a Vomiting. LORD teach and lead me to fome fuitable Improvement.

Queries to be confidered as to my private Cafe.

ift, Are daily Sins, Sins of Infirmity, fearch'd, obferv'd, weigh'd, mourn'd for?

2ly, Is there Care taken to exercife Faith distinctly in order to Pardon of them?

31y, Is Peace taken, when not powerfully by the LORD Spoken?

4ly, Does the Impreffion of the Neceffity and Excellency of Chrift's Blood decay?

sly, Are the Experiences of its Ufe and Efficacy diftin&t as before?

6ly, Am I formal in Worship, Duties fecret, private, craving Bleffing to Meat, returning Thanks, Prayer, Meditation, and Reading, &c.

7ly, Is there due Care of educating my Family?

Bly, Are Rod's obf'd, and fuitably improven?

gly, Is there due Concern for the Flock? and Singleness and Diligence in Minifterial Duties, Prayer for the Flock, Vifiting the Sick, &c.

1cly, Is there Sympathy with Afflicted Saints and Churches? Ily, Are the Sins of the Day mourned for?

r2ly

Part IV. 2ly, Is the Voice of the Rod heard calling to, 1. Deniedness to Relations, the dearest. z. Deniednef's to the World. 3. Ta Life. 4. Preparation for Death. 5. Spirituality in Duty.

January 1709. In Secret I look'd up to God, and reviewed the State of my Soul for the laft Year fince January 12, 17c8. These Queries have not been, alas! fuitably regard ed as they fhould..

2ly, Another Year added, under many new Calls to Repentance and Reformation, is not fuitably improven. 3ly, Is not this the Defign of prefent Indifpofition to rebuke for this?

4ly, Ah! the Power of remaining Sin and Enmity againft Duty appearing in diverting from fecret Duties, Indifpo fition for them, and for Spirituality of Mind, Meditation, Self-examination, Prayer, Reading the Word, and Livelinefs in them.

sly, Is it not a Rebuke for Failures as to Faithfulness in my Station, that I'm now put to Silence?

6ly, Is there not a Call, if the LORD fpare, to give my felf wholly to the Duties of my general and particular Calling?

7ly, May not this Indifpofition be a Check from profecuting fcholaftick Studies, and invite to apply my self to a Continuation of my Experiences?

Mercies I noticed this laft Year.

Utward. 1. Tho' the LORD has chaftis'd fore, yet he has fpar'd. 2. When my Work did call for it, about my own and others Sacraments, I was ftrangely ftrengthned. 3. The LORD gives fome Profpect as to an Iffue of the Confufions of my worldly Affairs. And here, 4. Not all at once; this might tempt me to depend no more, or turn flack. 2. Not till the LORD had long exercis'd with Difficulties; this ferves to humble and keep fober. 3. Left all this fhould not do, he holds the Rod over my Head. O the Goodness, Mercy and Wisdom of God!

2ly, As to my Soul's Cafe, 1. The LORD kept from Defpondency, the the Diftemper I labour under fofters that Evil, yet I was kept from Sollicitoufnefs as to Events. 2. The LORD kept from being altogether fecure and incon

cern'd, and kept up a Defire of divine Teaching while I was chaftned. 3. I have been kept compos'd, and in a watching Frame, tho' much under Hiding. 4. He has not altogether ceas'd to be a Reprover. 5. Sometimes I have had fome Blinks of his Countenance, and Hopes as to the Iffue. 6. Some Evidences of more than ordinary Providence about me and my Concerns.

As to my Family, 1. The LORD has preferv'd us. z. God has increas'd it. 3. God has directed to Servants fober and concern'd; and however flowly we move, which I defire to lament before the LORD, yet we are defiring to look the fame Way as to our eternal Concerns, at leaft, there is none venting any Thing of a Diflike to either Truth or Godliness in my Family. Bleffed be God for thefe, LORD, forgive Unthankfulness, above all, bleffed be God for the Gofpel.

If the LORD fpare me to labour amongst this People, the following Truths offered in Meditation as moft fuitable to my Cafe and theirs.

It, In the Gospel there is the moft fweet, honourable, profitable, fuitable, and in all Refpects, fatisfying Offer and Propofal made, a Marriage with the King's Son, &c.

the

2ly, In the Event the Generality of them to whom this is made, even the more fober that are not among Remnant that use the Servants defpitefully, reject it, will not come, but make Excufes.

3ly, An undue Regard to Things, in their own Place lawful, is that which gives Rife to this ill Entertainment among the fober Sort of People, at leaft, this is that whereby they countenance themselves in that Infidelity, which otherwife without Blushing they could not continue in. I have married a Wife, I have bought a Yoke of Oxen, a Field, &c.

4ly, In Times of Profperity, or when the Church is under no prefent Trial, even the Godly may decay and turn fecure,fall from firft Love, and, with the foolish Virgins, fleep.

5ly, The Rife of this Evil is to be carefully dilcovered; 1. Remainders of Enmity. 2. Change of Condition with the Want of Judgment how to give every Duty its own Place and Time, fo that one may neither juftle out another, nor drive to a careless Management, doing this, without leaving the other undone. 3. The Cunning of Satan enforcing one

Duty

Part IV. Duty to a Neglect of another, as in Chrift's Temptati

on,

This Night I got fuch a View of my Guilt, that nothing could have kept from Defpondency, but a View of that Grace that cannot be measured, but is beft conceiv'd by that aftonishing Evidence of it, Rom. 8. 32, He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him alfo freely give us all Things? In the View whereof I defire to live and die, and fpend Eternity.

At Night I was much refreshed in Converse about fome of these Things.

Clouds return after the Rain: This in Time of a fore Fit of Sickness impreffed me, LORD keep from Security, Mind, Pity. LORD thou knows my Frame.

His Health was much broken for fome Years before his Death, and somewhat of his Exercise in Sickness may be learn'd from the following Inftance.

October 12, 1709, I was feiz'd with a violent Flix, attended with painful Grippings, in three Days Time I was brought to the Gates of Death; but it pleas'd the LORD to blefs the Means that were used, and it began to abate,

T

OBSERVES.

HE Causes of the LORD's, contending were many, all reducible to this one, woful Remilsnefs in the Tenor of my Walk, and neglect to ftir up my felf to take bold of GOD in the lively fpiritual Attendance on the LORD in all the Ways of his Appointment.

zly, I found my felf on the Approach of the Trouble, at a great Lofs, the LORD hid himfelf, the Spirit breath'd not on the Promises; all was dark.

gly, I had a Multitude of Preffures, my worldy Bufiness, my Wife's Condition with a Child in her Belly; there was no Place as to these Things, but to roll them over on the LORD. That which weighted me moft, was, Concern about my Soul's State. As to this I obferve, 4ly, That tho' I found not that comfortable Evidence of it, that fometime I have done, yet I durft not quit this Hold, That the LORD had made with me an everlasting Covenant, &c. And tho' many Challenges from all Hands furrounded me,

2 Sam.

23. 5.

ftood

food refolved to throw my felf on free redeeming Loves and to venture my furviving Wife and Children on the LORD's tender Mercies.

sly, As to my Trouble, God keeped me, 1. Submiffive, juftifying the LORD, without repining at my Circum ftances. 2. He brought me off Sollicitude about Events in a great Measure, and to commit the Difpofal to the LORD, crying for a Removal of any Averfion to the LORD's Will

6ly, As to my Work, tho' I wanted not heavy Challenges,efpecially as to the Want of fecret Wreftling, and that Frequency in it for the Succefs of the Word among my People, and their Salvation; yet it was refreshing, (tho I durft not truft in any Thing but Sovereign Grace) that I durft fay in the Sight of God, without Heart-condemning, 1. That I was concern'd to know the Truth. 2. That I durft not vent my own Conceits. 3. Nor did I keep back what might be profitable. 4. I preach'd what I refolv'd to venture my own Soul on. And that, 5. I defired to preach home to Consciences.

CHA P. V.

Of his Marriage and Conduct in his Family.

Mr. Halyburton had begun this Head in the following Words.

TH

His being alfo a confiderable Change in my Lot, and. GOD's Providence being to be remarked, as in other Things, fo in this, whereabout he is particularly concern'd, a good Wife being from the LORD, who fets the foli1.tary in Families; I fhall notice fome Things here,

ft, At the fame Time the LORD did convince me, That it was not meet I fhould be alone, he alfo clearly convinced me, That a prudent Wife is from the LORD; and therefore I look'd, and cried to, and waited on the LORD for Direction, with that eminent Freedom, Affiftance, and Preparation of Heart, as gave me fome Ground to hope, That he would incline his Ear to hear.

2ly, My great Difficulty was as to the Way whereby I might know his Mind as to the Person whom I was to choose and fix upon. The Command, Be not unequally yoked together with Unbelievers, in the ftricteft Senfe, was powerfully im

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